"Parks and Recreation" star and esteemed woodworker Nick Offerman took to the Koger Center for the Arts Tuesday, February 5, 2013 to offer USC students 10 tidbits of life advice — and one bonus.
The “Parks and Recreation” personality and real-life woodworker — of hobbit pipes, canoes and, one day, an arc — schooled the crowd on his tips to successful living. It was a program he dubbed “American Ham: My Tentatives for Prosperity.”
His expertise, talent and authority to preach on such matters came from two things: his time in “theater plays” and three weeks having “born-again-Christian sex” at a Wisconsin Bible camp.
Offerman is married to Megan Mullally, or Tammy 2 on “Parks and Recreation.” He’s been married for 12 years, and he loves his wife.
In his words:
1. Engage in romantic love.
2. Say please and thank you.
3. Carry a handkerchief, hand kerchief or hanky.
4. Eat red meat.
5. Get a hobby (or a discipline).
6. Go outside. Remain.
7. Avoid the mirror. The mirror — avoid it.
8. Maintain a relationship with Jesus Christ — if it is getting you sex.
9. Use intoxicants.
10. Paddle your own canoe.
Bonus: Figure out what you love to do, and then figure out how to get paid to do it. ... Don't f---ing get roped in by your folks, by your guidance counselor, or whoever — by your pimp — to a life in a cubicle.