Demonstrators give LGBT community something to fight against
On Saturday, a vast congregation of sexually frustrated misfits and general freaks gathered together in one space under the shadow of the State House.
I am, of course, referring to the clot of elderly white people that saw fit to protest the 25th annual South Carolina Pride Parade.
Holding cheerful signs like "Walk with SHAME," a long line of these flabby men (I counted one woman) stood side-by-side in pained, unsmiling silence, their multiple chins quivering furiously in unison like Jello. Some were literally waving and thumping bibles.
Many of them looked like Wodehousian stereotypes; it was as if they had been poured into their suits in the morning and forgot to say "when."
Compared to the booming, cheerful Pride crowd on the other side of the street, these loser-types puttered around in sad little vectors, desperately trying to keep their atrophied joints from dropping their heavy-handed signs.
It was a study in opposites. On one side, movement, color and laughter. On the other side, stillness (aside from their hyper-active multiple chins), black and white signs and an aching silence.
There was a real spirit of antagonistic public demonstration, which is rare — if not unheard of — in South Carolina. There isn't nearly enough of it now, and there should be. Solid public demonstrations, unlike internet discussion boards, have a defined image and attract TV cameras like nobody's business.
At least they managed to spell "alternate lifestyles" correctly on their various signs. I had always thought that they were as unintelligent as they were unsightly. In other words, they had always seemed as smart as they looked.
Happily, this was not the case this time around. Someone who could spell, surely revered among their number, had mass produced the signs and were handing them out.
(But, then again, how hard is it really to mess up a sign saying "Sodomy is sin?")
Best of all were the counter-protesters dotted throughout the morose line, waving rainbow flags and signs mocking the demonstrators. Some took up the soft Christian message: "Jesus said 'love thy neighbor.'"
Others were more subversive, like the one guy holding a neon "I have a sign!" poster. If you could compile all of the dirty looks he got by the humorless demonstrators into a book, you'd have a tome about as long as any holy scripture.
While they were roundly ignored by the bible-thumping side, their presence goes to show that there is an actual debate to be had here.
Many who walked in the parade did so as members of pro-LGBT Christian congregations — I would be out of line if I didn't mention that. They were met with some of the loudest cheers of the whole bunch. (After all, no one is more fanatical than a convert.)
While I still think that all religion is more or less a racket, it did my heart good to see a grinning old man decked out in a pastor's frock, holding a bible with a rainbow flag carefully tucked between its pages.
After a while, I almost felt bad for those sad, sweaty men wasting their Saturday afternoon waving angry signs. The world is leaving them behind and they know it. When the 50th South Carolina Pride event comes around, chances are there will be few, if any of them left — apart from their hate-indoctrinated children or grandchildren.
Which is almost a shame. Their pitiful, rumpled-shirt presence gave a sort of heat to the performance. The Pride event had a strong image to fight against. Their stern faces remind us just how important the LGBT movement is, especially in a state full of used-car-salesmen types who would rather see their sons disowned or dead than kissing other men.