I am not a columnist.
But it's tradition that the outgoing editor write a farewell column for the last paper of their term, so here I am, hanging out on the Opinion page. Since I am not a columnist, I had some trouble figuring out what to say here. After hundreds of stories and thousands of hours in the newsroom, shoving all of that into a column is no small feat.
Instead, I wrote about the last three years in the form of an easy-to-read numbered list, a la BuzzFeed.
8 Things I've Done Instead Of Writing My Farewell Column
- Took several (like, way too many) bathroom/water/snack/bathroom/milkshake breaks
- Sentimentally stared off into the distance
- Read the last five editors' columns for inspiration and not as what some have dubbed "procrastination"
- Sighed heavily
- Pretended to type, but actually watched "The Office" on Netflix (again)
- Teared up, but held it together
- Wrote the most brilliant farewell column The Daily Gamecock or any other publication has ever seen in the history of forever
- Decided the world wasn't ready for my brilliance and deleted the draft I was definitely writing earlier and not watching "The Office" on Netflix (again)
9 Things I Want To Say Before I'm Yesterday's News
- Our staff has nothing to do with which crossword puzzles run on what days. We share your frustration that some repeated.
- If you're mad at us (over, I don't know, a crossword puzzle), consider writing a Letter to the Editor before you crank out the caps lock on Yik Yak.
- Full disclosure: I quit The Daily Gamecock two weeks into my freshman year and didn't come back until the next February. So, it is possible to put a pin in something and come back to it when you're ready.
- The Daily Gamecock is not now, nor were we ever conspiring with Student Government to keep the Greene Street gates closed.
- If you think you could put out a daily product better, we'd like to see you try. (No, really, we'll have interest meetings and training next semester. Come on out!)
- I only started this column Wednesday night, but I've been thinking about it for the last three years. Being Editor-in-Chief of The Daily Gamecock was my biggest goal when I came to USC, and an old editor told me when I was a freshman that I'd be in that office one day, it was just a matter of when. Guess it's time to find a new goal.
- I've gone places (literally and figuratively) and won awards and introduced myself as a member of this staff. I go to the newsroom like most people go home. I've screwed up there. I've cried hard and laughed way harder there. I've gotten and delivered the best and worst news there. I've moved on there. I've answered my cell phone with "Daily Gamecock, this is Hannah" more times than I care to count.
- You have to be crazy to work for The Daily Gamecock. I say that because only complete lunatics would spend every waking hour dedicated to something we all eventually graduate from. But after three years on staff and nine months as editor, I just realized it's not the paper that keeps us there — it's each other. And I'll be hard-pressed to find another group of crazy weirdos like ours.
- Please don't steal our papers.
1 Thought I Have During My Last Week As Editor
- ¯\_(ツ)_/¯