“My name is Vermin Supreme and I am running for President of America.” Vermin Supreme, the boot-as-a-hat-wearing, toothbrush-wielding “friendly fascist,” wants you to “help take back America into the Future.” His plan is quite simple: build a pony-based economy by providing all Americans with free ponies, improving national dental health through a compulsory teeth-brushing law and promising to go back in time to kill Adolf Hitler. He is also the only candidate to have a zombie preparedness plan.
Evidently enough, Mr. Supreme is not a serious candidate, at least in the sense that he seeks election. His purpose is to make a buffoonery of American politics, to expose the corruption and stupidity of the American political campaign.
Over his almost 30-year career, Supreme has made it his mission to mock the election process by promising voters a ridiculous agenda, which he has admitted are all promises he does not plan to keep.
Supreme spends most of his campaigning harassing other candidates. Most recently, during the weeks preceding the New Hampshire primary, Vermin Supreme mainly addressed the Republican field. He attacked Chris Christie for supposedly being anti-pony and asked Ted Cruz if he supported the fluoridation of water used in waterboarding torture.
Supreme, running as a Democrat, placed fourth in the New Hampshire primary and received more votes than Republican Jim Gilmore, and almost half as many as Democrat Martin O’Malley.
But at this point you must ask why, then, do I endorse a prankster for president?
In this election, the average voter does not have many choices. In the Republican field remain mostly inadequate or unelectable candidates. The Democratic nomination is seemingly rigged in favor of the Hillary Clinton.
In the case of either party, the candidates are accountable to their biggest donors. The Republicans may try to intimidate you by propping up national security threats and the Democrats may promise entitlements, but the difference is just in how the candidates convince you to vote for them. You as the voter are not a candidate’s priority once they are elected.
Why not cast a write-in vote for one of the most consistent candidates to ever run for office? Supreme has been committed to his platform for years, and even though he admits he will not follow through on his promises, at least he says it openly. I think an America with clean teeth and ponies for all is just what we are missing.
A vote for Vermin Supreme is a waste of a vote, but that is the point. If you are fed up with the political atmosphere in the United States, I urge you to write in Vermin Supreme on the ballot.
With his absolutely bizarre appearance and his equally nonsensical platform and slogan, Supreme seeks to exaggerate and expose the broken promises and lies the electorate is fed by our leaders. Supreme’s candidacy brings awareness to the issue that candidates’ promises for change often yield but one result: The candidates’ election. The promises to the electorate are forgotten, but the major donors are always remembered.