Many say that the ideas of manliness and womanliness are all but disappearing; these skeptics argue that there are no inherent traits either sex should have, and that the idea that there are is archaic and even sexist. What they fail to realize, however, is that these idealized traits can still serve a purpose in modern society and even on campus. In today’s world where gender roles are all but disappearing, how can a man still be a man while still adhering to modern standards of gender equality?
In the past, men have traditionally been the heads of families and the primary earner of income. Nowadays, in most marriages both spouses make decisions together, and the man isn’t always the top earner.
For college students in particular, it almost seems that the definition of manliness is defined by the amount of women he can sleep with, how many shots he can handle and if he can carry all of the groceries in one trip. These traits are trivial and irrelevant to one's masculinity. True manliness is defined by three points: pursue, protect and provide, a model I have changed slightly from the one outlined by the "Art of Manliness" in 2014.
The first point, pursue, means that men should always strive to improve the situations of themselves and others. It is wrong for a man to simply sit and idle when there is work to be done. For a man in college, this means that he should be chasing life improvement on all fronts, especially in academics, relationships and leadership.
A college man should dedicate the necessary time and dedication to achieve and learn the most he can in college. Not everyone is able to attain a perfect GPA, but a man should be putting in his best effort to prepare himself for his future life. He should also be constantly trying to improve his relationships, whether it be with friends, family, romantic interests, professors or future employers. Relationships are the key development factor in human life and having strong ties with each of the aforementioned groups is imperative to future and current success.
He should pursue leadership. Even if he is an introvert or is not comfortable giving directions to a team, he can still practice self-leadership. A man who is the master of himself and has an understanding of his abilities and limitations is infinitely better off than one who is not.
On the matter of protection, college men should strive to be someone who can give good advice and physical assistance. He should be a clear and rational thinker, and ready to assist those around us at any given moment. He should also be physically capable, having the ability and bravery to watch over himself and help others in dangerous situations, and generally be physically fit enough to perform duties requiring strength.
The final point is to provide. To fulfill this, a college man must be willing to put others before himself; he should volunteer for the unpopular tasks that still need to be accomplished. In any given situation of this sort, like choosing a designated driver or picking up the tab on a date, he should offer to bear the burden himself. If the other party refuses, then that it fine — it is still nevertheless important for him to always extend the offer.
Manliness is still an art which can and should be strived for. To pursue, protect and provide is at the core of what it means to be a man. And it is important to note that while these traits are commonly attributed as masculine, anyone, male or female, can and should strive to improve in these areas.