“Last but not least” sounds like a cute phrase until it precedes your lonely name on the back of everyone’s alphabetized senior recognition t-shirts. Having a last name at the end of the alphabet is a struggle unknown to many, and it is time to reverse the order of names on group projects to end the plight of the W through Z.
Throughout grade school, students at the end of the alphabet were pushed into the dark corners of every classroom. We were the ones who suffered if a teacher miscounted final exam copies or someone dropped a cupcake while passing them out on their birthday. Studies have proven the correlation between spending habits and last name, as those at the end of the alphabet have been conditioned to believe that there is not enough for them. This means that we are quicker to respond to offers and more enticed by limited-time items.
Unfortunately, the perceived inferiority goes far beyond shopping. It is human nature to associate winners as first and losers as last, and a survey of 15,000 people found that those with last names at the beginning of the alphabet ranked themselves significantly more successful than those at the end of the alphabet. The study also showed that the correlation grew stronger with age, meaning that the last name effect continues beyond grade school.
In another study, researchers found that students with last names at the beginning of the alphabet were more likely to be selected for competitive schools. Additionally, a Stanford study found that “tenured faculty at the top five economics departments have last names significantly closer to the start of the alphabet than do junior faculty at the same departments.” Though this particular study has been contested, one thing is certain — no one is arguing that those at the end of the alphabet have the advantage — at best, they are equal.
The most popular explanation for the tenure disparity is listing authors of academic papers in alphabetical order, which is an obvious disadvantage to those whose names carry over to the next page. Everyone knows that the best way to take a jab at someone who did no work on a group project is to list their name dead last, but what happens when someone’s name is there simply because of the letter it starts with?
Though even the Oxford Dictionary is not sure why the alphabet is ordered the way it is, everything from dictionaries to address books is sorted by letter. While this is a convenient method for inanimate objects, people should not be born into a ranking system based on a name their ancestors gave them. Members of group projects should be listed in order of contribution, not last name.