Most of us would be lying if we said that we didn’t look at other people's lives and feel like we were behind compared to them.
There is no one answer for where you should be in life as a college student. The only absolute is that you should be enjoying the ride and focusing on why you’re here.
College students should be focused on just that — enjoying college — according to Ashley Eaddy, a therapist and owner of local iINSPIRE Therapy.
"Education is the priority, but (also) enjoying that phase of life, because you can never go back," Eaddy said.
A major contributing factor to that feeling of being behind is seeing other’s lives and thinking they are on time but you aren’t. This is when you need to remember your goals and remind yourself of what is important to you. Eaddy said students should be mindful of what their goals are and focus on the necessary steps to get the next stage of life.
According to Eaddy, one of the most common ways college students fall into a self-critical mindset is through social media. She said seeing peers brag about great internships and full-time jobs on LinkedIn or extravagant vacations and experiences on Instagram is a pipeline to internal struggle. For that reason, Eaddy said it is crucial to set boundaries and time limits online.
"Even if you just say 'Hey, I'm only going to check out social media Friday, Saturday,' I'm not saying cut it out totally, but limiting it," Eaddy said. "Knowing also how you feel going into it versus how you feel coming out."
When the self-established boundaries aren’t working, it may be time to talk to someone, whether that be by reaching out to a trusted adult or by seeking professional help from a counselor. According to Eaddy, it's important to seek help yourself before someone else has to step in.
One option for students at USC is through Student Health Services, which offers individual and group counseling appointments via MyHealthSpace. Students also have access to 24/7 support through Thrive@Carolina and mindfulness programs focused on "the practice of paying attention on purpose," according to Student Health Services.
Young people should re-route negative thoughts into mindfulness to crush the “I’m behind in life” mentality. Of course, it is easier said than done, but having self-confidence and knowing how far you’ve come just by getting through the major milestones in life are key to getting to the next one.
We are all worrying about what others are doing when this is really the time to be selfish. Your best moment hasn’t happened yet and that should be a reason to continue working on your own timeline. You have gotten through all of the tough things that have occurred, and you’re still on track in life. At the end of the day, everyone is at a different spot in life, and you will always be on your own unique path.
It's easy to look at other's lives and think you're the only one going through rough patches, but everyone goes through tough times and often makes it out even stronger.