It is no secret that having a good roommate can make or break a student’s experience in college. Especially for first-year students, where most do not know their roommates before moving in, living with someone can be a difficult adjustment to make.
However, with a bit of extra effort, students can increase their chances of having successful experiences with their roommates and even grow in the process by learning more about themselves.
Be honest on your roommate matching form
The roommate matching form is a great opportunity to lay out what is most important to first-year students living on campus when it comes to a roommate. Before even filling out the form, students should think about what they value in their space. They should consider whether they want their dorm to serve as a relaxing place to wind down or a social space where they invite friends.
The roommate matching form allows students to communicate these preferences with potential roommates, so it is important to be honest. Of course, things will change and the form is certainly far from a binding agreement, but it is still important to complete it to the best of one’s ability to find the closest match. For the most accurate match, students may want to complete it without parents around so it accurately reflects their own preferences rather than their parents.
Communicating through social media or even meeting up if possible before committing can be another way to further discuss expectations and start to learn more about potential roommates.
Even beyond a student's first year, it is important for them to think through what is most important to them when it comes to roommates. Being good friends and getting along does not always correlate to identical thoughts on organization, cleanliness and proper scheduling. It becomes increasingly important for students to keep in mind what they most value and make that clear even beyond their first-year roommates.
Lay ground rules
After deciding what is most important to them, roommates should share those preferences with one another. Where preferences differ, students should give and take to make sure what is most important can be met.
At the same time, these rules should not be considered completely binding as things are bound to change as routines develop and students settle into college life. Unexpected responsibilities are likely to come up that shifts schedules, which is where flexibility comes in.
Be willing to compromise
Living with someone else is inevitably going to require compromise as roommates will not always agree. However, if roommates are open about preferences from the beginning, they can work to meet each other in the middle.
For example, if one roommate prefers to study in silence while the other prefers having background music, they could compromise by one studying at the library sometimes and other times the other could use headphones. The best way to adjust to meet the preferences of a roommate is through communication.
Keep communication open
Direct communication is the best way to navigate the evolution of schedules and preferences as students settle into college. Going out of one's way to ask if your roommates are alright with something, such as bringing a friend over or staying up late with lights on to study, can give roommates an easy way to be sincere about how they feel instead of expecting that they will always speak up of their own accord.
Rather than silently keeping frustrations to themselves, roommates should share when they feel the other is not keeping to their initial agreement in important ways. Working through disagreements courteously is not always simple, but remaining communicative before problems pile is a key step toward avoiding larger conflicts later.
Look for ways to support each other
Even if a close relationship with one’s roommate is not a priority, it is helpful to have someone living in such close proximity who can serve as support, or even just help with getting chores and other tasks completed.
In order to foster this type of relationship, it can be a good idea to make time to spend together to get to know one another if students are rooming with strangers. Even if roommates are already friends, amidst the hectic nature of college, it is important to make time, perhaps once a week, for one another.
Do not be afraid to reach out for help
In the end, no two roommate relationships will look exactly alike, and sometimes it does not work out. Particularly for first-year students, who often do not know their roommates prior to moving in and who are navigating the major adjustment to college life, conflict can come up.
In these cases, it can be best to reach out to someone to mediate a discussion. For students living on campus, reaching out to an assigned Residential Assistant can be helpful. For others, reaching out to a friend who is willing to help can allow for a respectful discussion and advice from someone further removed from the situation.
Communicating with one's family and seeking advice when necessary is a good way to hear from those who already know a student's preferences and communication style as opposed to hearing from someone who may not know them as well.
Whether rooming with friends or strangers or during one’s first or last year of college, roommates can have a better experience through honesty, communication and compromise.